


it's not a fashion statement (it's a fucking deathwish)

by orphan_account



Series: cultverse [1]
Category: Bandom, Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Cults, Disturbing Themes, Dubious Consent, F/M, Gabe's Basement, Group Sex, Incest, M/M, Mindfuck, Underage - Freeform, Violence, referenced non-con in the back of band vans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 15:56:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4841534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>we're here to save your life</i>, Gerard says.</p><p>Gabe sings about keeping kids in his basement. William has his own message. Patrick has never wanted anyone but Pete.</p><p> <i> REPOST.</i></p><p>unrepentant use of song lyrics and references. MIND THE TAGS.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gabe

**Author's Note:**

> So, once upon a time, way back in the olden days of popslash, kel and lise wrote a story about Justin Timberlake and his scary cult called [flesh mechanic: not an AU](http://doyourthing.org/lise/pop/cult/index.htm). It creeped the hell out of people and became an instant classic in the fandom.
> 
> A couple of years later, many of the people who had originally been into popslash were lured over to the eyeliner-covered, girl-jean-draped emo bandom. One day, [gigantic](http://gigantic.livejournal.com) made a post about Patrick Stump's obvious [Stockholm Syndrome](http://gigantic.livejournal.com/365978.html) , and the inevitable comparisons to flesh mechanic were made. And then [queenofhell](http://queenofhell.livejournal.com) decided to write a snippet. Just one little snippet, about Pete indoctrinating Ryan Ross into his cult, and then it turned into a full-length story called [It's Like the Pied Piper (Only It's a Little Bit More Like a Cult). ](http://http://community.livejournal.com/pristineserene/17855.html) And then that turned into several stories, and then a bunch of other people started writing stories, and now here we are.
> 
> The cultverse as it was is both a collaborative universe, and also a bunch of people writing their own stories within a shared concept. There is no real canon--people may be inspired by other people's stories, or reference events in other people's stories, or they might not. Events that happened in one person's stories may not have necessarily happened in someone else's; or, since this is about a bunch of cults, you can look at it with the idea that nobody is telling the full story, and everyone is hiding something from someone. If you want to read the stories chronologically in the order they were posted, you can go through the entries listed in the [cultverse community page](http://cultverse.livejournal.com/341.html) on livejournal. In the masterlist, stories are listed by author; authors are listed in the order they started writing in the cultverse.
> 
> My own cultverse stories were mostly lost when I deleted my old lj; I've since found a few on an old hard drive and will be reposting slowly.

_gaze into her killing jar_

_I'd sometimes stare for hours_

_she even poked the holes_

_so I can breathe..._

\- My Chemical Romance,  _The Jetset Life Is Gonna Kill You_

 

 

Gabe Saporta is first surprised, then intrigued, and finally worried by the kid in the front row.

 

He's a typical, androgynous looking scene kid as far as androgynous-looking scene kids go; too much eyeliner and chalky white powder. He looks about fifteen in his too-tight jeans, hair dyed dark and carefully styled over one eye even as he bobs his head along to the beat. His expression is almost bored, but that could just be a too-cool-for-life facade. He's not singing along, but he could be a new fan and not know the words yet, though it's unusual that he's not trying to follow along.

 

It's the shirt that worries Gabe.

 

The words _My Chemical Romance_ are stretched across a skinny chest, and when the kid turns his back - turns his _back_ , on _Gabe_ of all people - and makes his way out of the pit, Gabe sees _the black parade_ and really starts to worry. The kid seems... immune to his song, and that's a rare enough event that Gabe makes sure to single the kid out after the show.

 

The kid smiles at him and blushes slightly at the attention, but even when Gabe lays it on thick and invites the kid back to the band house, the kid - he did get a name, but like he _cares_ \- stammers an excuse. In the end, it takes both him and William to get the kid down into the basement. He's _scared_ , and tenses up when Gabe runs a soothing hand down his arm. He's still shaking, trying to fight them off when William excuses himself with _I think he needs more work, man, I'm not exactly into this._ Because their fans _want_ it.

 

People usually talk a lot of shit down in the basement. Gabe expects it. It's only for his most devoted, the ones who deserve special attention, or his kids who have lost their way. Gabe expects rambling, maybe some pleading,  the thrashing against restraints until they're captivated by the speakers and the big, bright screens. Some people will fight for hours, babbling complete nonsense as they try to fight the Cobra, but this kid is going on about gunfights and restaurants and bullets through flocks of doves, what the actual fuck. There's an almost followable train of thought present. Gabe realises with a start that the kid is _singing_ , and when the first chorus bursts forth it's obvious it's not even one of his songs.

 

It's Gerard Way's.

 

Gabe resolutely keeps his cool for as long as possible, content for at least a while to watch as the kid struggles helplessly where he's strung up against the wall, but even though the baseline of _The Church of Hot Addiction_ is a tangible thing thumping against the kid's skin, he. Will. Not. Stop. Singing. It's not like the kid has a great voice of anything, he's certainly no Patrick, who's beautiful even when he's breaking and sounds it too, but there's still a gritty strength in the clumsy notes that makes Gabe determined the break this one kid. He _will_ take the Cobra.

 

The song changes, something about being broken and being damned and carrying on. It's clear that the kid has found his anthem, singing at the top of his lungs, looking back at Gabe with a crazed look in his eye. It's not fair. _Gabe_ is the one that does crazed looks.

 

_"-do or die you'll never make me, because the world will never take my heart, go and try, you'll never break me-"_

 

The song is filling his ears, grating on eardrums as it worms its way inside his head until Gave can hear it clearly, thinks his heart might just be beating in time to that damned snare and he catches himself feeling an inexplicable surge of hope as the chorus swells in his chest -

 

_"-we'll carry on, we'll ca-rry on..."_

 

\- and Gabe is screaming back, singing at this stupid little scene kid who  _will take the Cobra, damnit_ , this piece of trash who means nothing, _nothing_ , but he's not sure if it's his Message he's singing anymore and if the kid would just shut UP -

 

The room is blissfully silent, and Gabe looks down at his hands and the slumped head of the unconscious kid between them, slack in his bonds and quiet at last.

 

There's a disturbing echo in the room, a whisper that's more like a scream in a voice Gabe is all of a sudden familiar with, and for the first time ever, Gabe flees his own basement, to the sound of familiar words he didn't know he knew.

 

_you better run like the devil, 'cause they're never gonna let you alone, you better hide up in the alley, 'cause they're never gonna find you a home. and as the blood runs down the walls, you see me creepin' up these halls..._

 

William, upstairs studying the cameras intently, doesn't hear anything.


	2. William

_sister, I'm not much a poet but a criminal_

_and you never had a chance_

_love it, or leave it, you can't understand_

_a pretty face, but you do so carry on..._

          - My Chemical Romance, _Thankyou For The Venom_

 

 

 

Pete just sighs when WIlliam tells him what happened.

 

"I warned him to stay away from Gerard and his kids," Pete says and William understands the sentiment, because Gerard Way? Creeps him  _the fuck out._ William has never seen Gabe so worked up, so shaken, and as far as he knows, Gbae hasn't been back down to the basement since. _Gabe._ Avoiding _his basement._

 

He's only met Gerard the once, but if it's possible to get a contact high from being on the same tour, William doesn't want to find out firsthand. He caught the last half of a set one year during Warped and was halfway through proclaiming how very _Not Okay_ he was before he realised what he was doing.

 

It makes William nervous, and as a result he's always avoided Gerard - _run away_ _, you mean_ , Pete says, _and it's not like you need to man, he respects you and the Message_. But William knows how easy it is to become enthralled, knows that if he's not careful he'll unconsciously start shaping his own Message to broadcast Gerard's instead.

 

Because for such an intense person, Gerard is uncharacteristically subtle. He hooks the masses with his lyrics and then has them spread the Words themselves. The world hears his Message from the mouths of babes and learns to see things his way without even realising it.

 

Pete and Gerard apparently have some kind of agreement, because William (and about half the acts on any year's Warped ever) caught Pete and Mikey in the act, and he's seen Gerard and Patrick disappear together enough to have some idea of what's going on. William himself prefers to stay away - not because he's hiding in the shadows, fuck that, William Beckett does not _do_ shadows, that's Gabe's thing - and just observe.

 

He watches silently, always wary of the way the power around Gerard shifts and changes, warily watching its growth. He has a quiet word in Pete's ear when he catches Ryan Ross singing along, because the defiant stare he gets when he interrupts a chorus of _teenagers scare the shit out of me_ is a new, disturbing development. That's not the way the ridiculously overplayed number-one about whores and hearts beating faster, faster goes - even if the new lyrics are a welcome change.


	3. Patrick

_it was the roar of the crowd_

_that gave me heartache to sing_

_it was a lie when they smiled_

_and said you won't feel a thing_

          - My Chemical Romance, _Disenchanted_

 

 

Patrick is confused, at first, by Gerard's initial approach. It's obvious that Pete's trading him for some Mikey time, the fucker, and he doesn't mind exactly, because he'd do anything for Pete, and he _can_ recognize Gerard's thrall, even if he's not in danger of falling under it. But while Patrick knows Pete is bending Mikey over any available surface - _you should see him on his knees, 'Trick, though he's not as pretty as you with his mouth full_ \- all he and Gerard do is sit and talk. About music, mostly. Life on tour. Never the Message, or the scene, or the kids.

 

When he finally does touch Patrick, Gerard takes his time, studying him all the while with this expression on his face that makes Patrick think he's evaluating Pete's work. He doesn't try to push Patrick's limits like Gabe had, instead trailing gentle fingers over his skin as he hums and whispers, words of reassurance and comfort and strength that don't fight Pete's in his head. Instead, their Messages seem to work together, and when Patrick closes his eyes he can see the twined Message like a melody spread out in front of him, and he tries his best to sing it out for Gerard as he comes.

 

Patrick used to wonder how Gerard possibly managed to achieve what he did, how he could possibly spread the word when he never _touched_ the kids. Sure, hugs and smiles and photos, but he never made them earn it, never made them work for their Belief. All his many willing disciples had was a bunch of words, and yet there were still _millions_ of them. It's only when he's finally allowed to see Mikey and Gerard together that he understands.

 

It's evident in the way Mikey arches toward his brohter that every tense line in his body is begging, _pleading_ , even as he's shuddering through the come-down of release. Gerard leaves them all wanting more, even Mikey. The kids all want his approval, his _permission_ to live the lives they do, and in turn Gerard uses his power over them to keep his following no less passionate or even less angry or disillusioned. He lights a fire in them, stokes it, keeps it hot and wild and alive. Gerard reassures them that it's only natural, that it's okay to be not okay. He's subtly against alcohol, against self-harm, but it's not preachy, a shepherd keeping his flock together with the Message and using it to keep them safe and mostly sane.

 

The kids all follow him blindly, and Patrick can understand because Gerard is all earnest hope and intense words - he just _talks_ people around, Mikey says, and that's enough to do it. Mikey should know, Patrick reasons, because he's Gerard's first disciple, the first person Gerard ever made believe in the message, even before he himself knew what the Message was.

 


	4. Mikey

_and as these days watch over time_

_and as these days watch over us tonight_

_I'll never let them, I'll never let them_

_I'll never let them hurt you, not tonight_

_I'll never let them, I can't forget them_

_I'll never let them hurt you, I promise._           - My Chemical Romance, _Vampires Will Never Hurt You_

 

 

Gerard is ... _everything_.

 

Mikey doesn't have his brother's words. Doesn't have his power or his influence or presence or whatever you want to call it. He only has the truth of who he is, and that is exactly who Gerard has made him. He has a purpose, a place he _belongs_ , with people who will never leave him. Someone who will never hurt him and always protects him.

 

This is who he was born to be.

 

Gerard was the one who taught little Mikey how to _be_ , teaching him first words and steps and thoughts. Gerard _is_ Mikey. He is everything Mikey knows how to be. The little brother loves the woman chosen for him, because she is part of the Plan, and Mikey loves Alicia for it. Because she fits with him and she fits with Gerard and she _understands_.

 

The Message.

 

The Plan.

 

Him.

 

She knows as well as Mikey does, that Gerard is everything.

 

It's that simple.


	5. Pete

_you're the one that I need_

_I'm the one that you loathe_

_you can watch me corrode like a beast in repose_

_'cause I love all the poison away_

_with the boys in the band_

          - My Chemical Romance, _The Sharpest Lives_

 

 

 

Pete means to have a serious word to Gerard about staying the fuck away from Ryan.

 

Really, he does.

 

Somewhere along the line, though, there is both a challenge and an acceptance, and they come together in a complete loss of control. Gerard is uncharacteristically rough, and Pete knows he'll have marks tomorrow where he'd never normally let anyone leave their imprint on his skin, but at the moment they don't care. Gerard is humming something around his cock, and Pete can't make it out but he's sure that it's less a challenge of his leadership and more a challenge of his stamina. He shudders, and god forbid Gerard ever lower himself to try this direct approach on the masses, because then Pete truly would be fucked.

 

Because even though Gerard's message is not done up quite so prettily, not so radio-ready and pop-perfect, it has it's appeal, all pale makeup and fake blood and faux rebellion. Gerard delights in making the disillusioned kids scream back at him in unison and punch their fists in the air as they find something to believe in. Conformity masked in rebellion.

 

The roar of the crowd gives Gerard the satisfaction he needs to continue; he feeds the kids heartache and they lap it up, absorbing his pain as their own as they join the cult of broken hearts and wrists. They arrive angry at everything and yet nothing at all, determined to tell the world about their isolation but without the words to do so. Pete knows when they go home satisfied, pumped up on adrenaline and false rebellion, the Message they shout is Gerard's. _I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid to walk this world alone..._

 

Gerard gives the Message to the masses; he gives them a song to sing. Pete gives as good as he gets, and he can honestly say he's not all that concerned about Gerard's following eclipsing his. They can co-exist.

 

And if Gerard on his back with Pete between his legs still looks more like control than submission, surely Pete's just imagining it.

 

They have an agreement after all.

 

 

_and if I'm so wrong_

_how can you listen all night long?_

_now it will matter, long after I'm gone_

_because you never learn a goddamned thing..._


End file.
